Reasons for Writing

Granddad Reclining

Life has a habit of giving you surprises, some good, some just odd and some downright unwanted. My father-in-law is rapidly developing dementia. His memory is poor and he is often confused. He has never said very much about his early life, and now it would be difficult to know what is truth and what is confabulation.

I have never told my children much about my earlier life either. Initially it didn't seem important, and now they are not interested. Life is in the now. But, on the off chance that they may someday be interested I have decided to write this, a mixtures of tales of the past and present, with a few fables thrown in for good measure. Someday they may want to read it. If not it will at least be a reminder for me in my undoubted growing befuddlement.

A truth about me:
Dementia scares me, almost more than anything else. Not other people with dementia, but the thought of developing it myself. I'm not high risk, none of my forebears (as far as I know) have ever had dementia. I haven't played any risky sports, like football or boxing and I try to keep my mind active. But it's still scares me. I've always been able to think, and even on my most depressed days that stays, admittedly it's sometimes a curse rather than a blessing as I can go into a spiral of over thinking things. So I am running scared -and there's nothing I can do to change the odds. 

I recently watched the film 'Robot and Frank', a rather wistful sci-fi-ish, semi romantic, slightly comedic film about an elderly ex-con with memory problems and his robot helper. Amusing and light, with dark overtones. That sounds like the description of a chocolate, or perhaps a wine. He is trying to flirt with the librarian, but he doesn't recognise her as his divorced wife. That's the relatively light side of the illness, but mostly it is much darker. Is it more frightening for the person (dementee?) or the onlookers?.